I remember sitting on the floor by the refrigerator where he had just pushed me knocking me to the ground. I sat there crying after having taken a countless number of his kicks to my body and head. As I had done before, I reserved my right to remain silent and I didn’t resist. However, something about this encounter was different.
As I watched him walk away from where he left me battered and bruised without even looking back at me or checking to see if I was severely injured, I felt for the first time like fighting back.
The non-violent demeanor which I had given of myself to him as a gift time and time again had been taken for granted and stomped into the ground along with my self-respect and love. I thought of every moment I had given him a second chance to rehabilitate which only meant it would be at my own risk because he squandered every second of my time that he was given.
The day had come to challenge the oppression that I allowed to invade my life. I sat there crying not knowing what to do.
I remember opening my mouth and uttering words to him that I had never spoken during his physical abuse before: “YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO STOP HITTING ME!!!” as I threw my hands in the air in self-defense.
That day I found the strength to scream for “HELP” and to put up a fight rather than lying still and quiet. I had never resisted the 3 previous instances he attacked me for no reason, without cause and because he simply decided to do so. I contacted his parents, the police and I suffered through the consequences of my resistance. A year would pass before we ever spoke again. But when we did I learned that broken men can’t be “fixed” and neither can the cracks and holes in the Barbados justice system. Thus, the lessons from the ancestor, Frederick Douglass came to me and I decided to share my story. For the sake of what I wanted all along: change. For the sake of the children of domestic abuse who grow up wearing the scars.
I’ve published my first book. I’m on the record. The details are as follows:
The Quick Fix Trilogy (Episode III: Corresponding Destiny) [Kindle Edition]
Tru Butler (Author, Editor)
Publication Date: May 27, 2015
Hear some of my story here: